Just Some Mama Thoughts & Keepin' it Real

Wow, it's hard to believe that August is here. Many of my teacher friends start back on the 11th, & their students start on the 18th. Madeline's preschool starts September 1. If I am keepin' it real on this blog, I have to say, "Thank you, God, for getting me through this summer!" I think I've prayed to God for patience no less than 5 times per day everyday of the week. It's been a doozy of a summer, and I for one am glad to turn the page on my good 'ol fashioned paper calendar to August. August brings intense heat & humidity here, but it also brings me to thoughts of cooler weather to come, preschool starting, fixed schedules & routines Monday through Friday, college football on the weekends, and some serious Mama-Disney-marathon-training-time which in turn equals relaxed, happy Mama!

Summer around here is usually relaxed --- hanging out on the back porch in the evenings, a few beach trips here and there, trips to the neighborhood pool, some lake time, evening bike rides on the pink tricycle, evenings on the swingset, later naptimes & bedtimes, sleeping in a little bit, lots of gym time for both Eric and I, and some playdates scattered between all that.

Not so much. Instead, this summer was far from relaxing! It was full of doctor's appointments for Amelia's ongoing battle with reflux & ear infections, many afternoons stuck inside because it's way too hot to go to the pool with a sick wee one, many afternoons watching too much TV because Mommy needs to get housework done in between a fussy baby & a whiny almost three year old, many sharp words coming out of my mouth, many testing the boundaries from my almost three year old, many hours of the wee one fussing/crying out of discomfort, many deep breaths during naptime, many evenings spent praying tomorrow would be a better day, many evenings on the phone with Daddy because Daddy's travel schedule is nutso, and too many middle of the night wake-ups for this Mama and Amelia.

This summer has certainly been quite a learning time for me, and my perfectionist, type A personality certainly does not go well with a feeling of not doing a good job at my job. I know there were times I handled tense situations with grace and kindness, and unfortunately, I had many moments when there was too much yelling that accomplished very little except hurt feelings. I made too many little stops at the grocery store with both kids in tow instead of thinking through the grocery shopping and my couponing. I'm sure I turned down playdates, dates with friends, and other fun activities because I didn't want to drag Amelia with us knowing that she is not feeling well, and that's just not fair. Talk about feeling torn --- choose Amelia's misery to allow Madeline a little fun or having Madeline miss something fun because Amelia would be miserable strapped in the bucket seat or stroller! Then there were times when hiring a babysitter was simply too exhausting to think about because it's just easier to deal with Amelia's temperament, ailments, and meds myself. Many days I was in survival mode, and I wasn't always present enjoying the moment with my girls when they were happy & healthy. One thing is for sure: I complained too much to my hard working husband. Love his heart for listening ever so patiently to my "woe-is-me"!

But, again, if I am keepin' it real, then I would be unappreciative & ungrateful if I didn't mention my long weekend away with only my husband to Hilton Head leaving a sick wee one & testy almost three year old with Grandma and Grandpa. I cannot forget to mention my wonderful girls' weekend with my near and dear friend, Steph, to Costa Rica while my husband kept the sick wee one and testy tot while he worked from home. Bless his heart. Those two long weekends alone gave me the rejuvenation I needed to get through all those other stressful moments, I am sure. Lastly, I would be remiss if I didn't mention our wonderful family filled weekend when we celebrated Amelia's baptism on our 7th wedding anniversary & Father's Day. Again, a little ray of sunshine in our rough summer.

So, I, for one, am ready for a new season with a healthy wee one (fingers crossed), a happy three year old who gets to go to school five days per week (for a week now, she's been asking, "I get to go to school today!?"), a Daddy's work schedule that allows for less overnight travels, and a Mommy who starts her marathon training releasing those feel good endorphins!

And, if I am really keepin' it real, then I should remind myself that this stay-at-home-Mama-gig is what I signed up for no matter how frustrating and stressful the days are. Truth be told, I am really a blessed woman with two beautiful little girls and an amazing husband! Perhaps, in addition to my prayers for patience, I should also thank God for my sweet little family!