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Monday, January 09, 2012

Ever have one of THOSE days?

You know the kind of day that I'm talking about --- it seems every decision you make backfires on you, nobody in your life seems to be happy about anything, too many, "I want...", very few thank you's, and overall very frustrating kind of day when you plop into bed at night praying that tomorrow will be better because by golly, tomorrow is a new day, and it's got to be better! I think I would sum up our 2011 year as one of THOSE days times 365! That last statement might be a slight exaggeration, but 2011 was a rocky one for us. As for me, it was a humbling year on so many levels.

We started our life as a family of four, and I would not trade our little family for anything in this world! I love my husband and my two girls down to my very core. Madeline has come along so far emotionally, socially, physically, and mentally. She's a very sensitive, empathic child. She can sense when I'm not having a good day and will try to make me smile. It pretty much always works! :) Madeline is a protective older sister, and she doesn't want Amelia to cry, get hurt, or be scolded. Sometimes she's too overprotective not allowing Amelia to fend for herself. Her outrageous temper tantrums come only every so often now, and she's learning to check her emotions. I had some very humbling moments in the afternoons pouring over my John Roesmond articles and books trying to figure out ways to conquer these tantrums in an age appropriate manner. Over the course of the year, she's become more rational, so she can calm herself down before things spiral out of her control. Madeline has blossomed socially making friends at school and in the neighborhood, learning to share without being prompted to do so, learning to not follow others' poor behavior choices, and communicating with adults in a mannerly way. Madeline is certainly not the most athletic child, but she's attempting to ride her tricycle and a bike with training wheels with much more confidence. She can climb the rockwall on our swingset in a flash, and her physical skills like hopping, running, jumping, etc. are much less clumsy. She loves her ballet class, and she's learned a ton! I am so looking forward to her recital to see what she has learned. Every now and again, I'll catch her dancing around obviously doing her ballet motions. Super cuteness. Madeline is a smart little girl. She loves to learn, and her neverending questions can be maddening, but she wants to learn about the world around her. Her little memory is a steel trap. The girl retains information like crazy. Books and coloring are still her most favorite past times.

And, sweet Amelia, she's finally coming into her own after 12 very long months. Her verbal skills are really starting to take off, and while she doesn't seem to have a huge interest in walking on her own, she's on the move keeping up with Madeline as best she can. She's eating up a storm, and she wants whatever we are eating. Amelia has figured out how to snap her fingers, and she will snap in the direction of the food item that she wants. While it's not the most mannerly thing to do, it's giving us some level of communication, so we're going with it for now. Eventually, we'll enforce the use of words once her verbal skills are better. Amelia humbled me as a Mom. I thought I had the whole Mom thing under control --- balancing my gym time, household chores, errands, and playtime. Madeline and I got into our routine just trucking right along, and when Amelia arrived, she slipped right into our lives like she'd always been here with us. Sure, I was exhausted, but that's to be expected with the newborn phase. And, then the fussy, gassy, uncomfortable, something's not quite right Amelia showed up. Just like that. I was taken down a notch. Suddenly, I was with an unhappy baby all the time, and our happy days were few and far between. I allowed this to go on for months making trips to the doctor, trusting his advice against my own gut feelings. Afterall, Madeline was nothing like this as a baby. What did I know? However, I knew something wasn't right in my gut. I finally put my Bullheaded Mom face on, sought out advice from friends, and switched doctors after 9 very long months! Amelia's health improved and so did her disposition, but it didn't last for long. Teething. Again, more unhappy days than happy days. Unfortunately, Amelia is not the "go with the flow" second child I just knew I was going to have. She's far from it, and it's been hard for me to handle every situation with grace and a smile. As I said, it's been a humbling experience thinking I had it all just right, and then one of THOSE days keeps going on day after day after day. There were many days when I felt like throwing my hands up in the air, and shouting, "I'm moving to Australia!" just like Alexander in Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst.

Unfortunately for a large portion of 2011, Eric was traveling like crazy for days on end week after week, and it was rough running the show by myself especially during those summer months when Amelia's health & disposition were at their worst, and Madeline's terrible three's flared up. Again, a humbling experience for me...my husband did come home after a few days or even a week, and I could vent or cry or go to the grocery by myself. But, during these rough patches, I often thought about single Moms or wives with deployed husbands and wondered how in the world they did it. At least I got some reprieve. Luckily, Eric's job finally started to slow down and his travel schedule has become less hectic. Having him around in the evenings, has certainly made for happier dynamics around here! This year, he was able to find a better balance between working hard, family, friends, gym time, and hunting.

Together, we were able to go on some trips and have some date nights for some us time. Of course, we did a lot of work to the house making it "us", and we have enjoyed our improvements together. Our entertaining probably reached an all time high this summer and fall when we hosted several parties, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and some cookouts in between. Hence the reason all of our birthday celebrations were kept super low key this year. I could only handle so much entertaining with all the other things going on in our little world.

As for me, my excitement was my Disney marathon that didn't happen, and again, another humbling experience. All that training, time, & effort was for not. First, figuring out my training schedule amidst Eric's & the girls' schedules was tricky, and then I had an ankle tendon issue during the "meat" of my training which required me to cut back my miles for a two week time frame. Finally, my broken foot sealed the deal --- No marathon. Canceled trip to Disney because my foot couldn't handle the parks. Boo hiss.

Surely, all of these trials and tribulations of 2011 happened for a reason. I'm a firm believer in that. I may not ever realize all the reasons we had these experiences, but I know deep in my heart that the Big Man Upstairs puts events in your life for a reason. I've realized a lot about myself. I have a few things to iron out that could make me a kinder wife, a more patient mother, a more attentive friend, and a less perfectionist Anne in 2012. Here's to 2012 with less health issues, less temper tantrums, less travels for Daddy, a less frazzled Mama, and less of THOSE I'm moving to Australia kind of days!

2 comments:

Courtney said...

Anne, I always enjoy reading your blog, and it certainly didn't come across like 2011 was one of "those" days - you are a great mom with a beautiful family! But I totally get what you are saying, and I hope that 2012 is full of smooth sailing. At least no more broken bones!! That is just not fair. You are right that it all happens for a reason, but hopefully there are no more tough lessons to decipher this year!

Kay Days said...

Just letting you know I am leaving you a comment from the ole nooky-nook! Love you girlfriend!